Carry You Home
by Ialwaysshipthedoomedones
Summary: Carla wonders what would happen if her suicide bid had succeeded. Is she strong enough to carry on the fight?
1. Chapter 1

**Carry You Home- James Blunt**

**_As strong as you were, tender you go.  
>I'm watching you breathing for the last time.<br>A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,  
>I know what it means and I'll carry you home.<br>I'll carry you home._**

Carla skulks along the empty streets silently, her feet laying foortprints in the freshly fallen snow. She sighs softly, knowing they will soon be hidden again. Like they were never there, never even existed. She wonders briefly if that is what would have happened had her suicide bid succeeded. Would she too have been erased from people's minds? Would their memories fade, the moments they had shared, times they had spent together? Her lovesr, her friends. Would they even notice she was absent?

She knew she should not even have let those thoughts enter mind after making so many promises of strength and better days to those she loves.

Strangely it is Michelle she worries most for. She remembers her heartbroken pleas in the pub and knows she shouldn't let herself hurt her in such a selfish way, not when it was her fault her friend had already lost so many special people.

Carla cannot help but think Peter would have a much happier exsitence if she were not lingering over him. She had been the cause of so much of his pain, so many of his problems. She loves him with every part of her but she knows she isn't good for him. If he was no longer tied to her through guilt, he'd be free to go back to Leanne. If she'd have him of course. Though Carla was almost certain that she would. He'd work his magic, flutter his lashes and she'd come running, Carla was sure of it.

The selfish part of her did hope he would mourn her though, openly and honestly. If only for a little while. She desperately hoped he would not return to drink again. That was his past, and she wanted for that not to become his future just because she messed up again.

She hears the words they whisper as she slips past them, hoping to go unnoticed, but knowing she is not that lucky. This was as normal as any other day since he had been set free and she had been labelled a home wrecker and cold hearted liar.

She is not not exactly sure when she made her decision, when she become so weak she depends only on the thing that had previously caused so much pain.

Her exit route from hell.

Still she stands at the counter of the Cabin and asks RIta sweetly for two of her strongest box of painkillers. Despite the fact few know of her failed attempt, she worries that people will see through her tough exterior and into her soul. Where she feels like a lost child, frightened and alone. She worries they'll guess the real reason for exses buying as the glass bottles rattle and clang together in the see-through plastic bag she clutches tightly.

RIta hands over the pills and Carla breathes a sigh of relief, paying quickly and leaving before she can bump into Dev, from whom she had just purchased enough alcohol to drown a fish.

Or worse still, Peter. She knew he would know instantly what she was going home to do, and she could never lie to him. She simply couldn't bare to see the look of despair in his eyes again. It would break her already shattered heart and she knew she wouldn't be able to go through with it if he caught her, pleaded with her. He could never understand the reasons for this weakness.

She runs across the road without even looking, ignoring the blasts of car horns that come her way. It seems that when someone has decided they no longer want to live, they stop doing the things that keep them alive. They stop fastening their seatbelts, holding onto hand rails, listening for traffic. Little things that keep you safe become so trivial when you know the true meaning of life and the pain it can bring.

Back in her flat, Carla turns on the radio, it hums gently in the background. She almost laughs at how normal it all was. She wanders around her flat in a daze, glancing at the photos staring back at her. She stops at one in paticular, a pained expression creases her face as she kisses Peter's face and then places it face down. It seems silly but she cannot bare to think of him watching her as she falls into a pit of alcohol enhanced destruction. Albeit the last she will ever face.

The reason she has lasted this long is because of him, she thinks. Carla isn't sure if she is grateful of this, however she doesn't regret a moment of their time together, this she knows. She texts him, a brief message and hopes she has been as normal as she usually would.

_''Thinking of you, sorry for today. Love you always. Cx'' _ Carla knows these words will have more meaning when he discovers what she has done, but for now they simply refer to their cancelled plans.

Time is slipping past quickly, but Carla is reluctant to leave yet, wanting first to read the words from her lover that she knows will be the last they'll share. She wasn't expecting her phone to ring loudly against the coffee table, she hurriedly places the near empty bottle of red down, surprised at how much of the poisionous substance she has already consumed.

''Hello you'' She hopes she sounds better than she feels

''Hey baby'' He's happy, unaware of the destruction that is being caused at the other end of the phone, at least that's what Carla believes.

''I miss you'' He tells her softly, asking how her meeting with 'Chelle and the client went. Carla flinches at the sound of her friend's name, knowing the pain she was leaving behind. She responds by telling him that she felt unwell so she stayed at home in bed and quickly refuses his offer to come and hold her for a while.

''I'm really tired babe, me head feels like some nutter is hitting it with a hammer, maybe I'll just head to bed'' She lies, knowing bed is the last place she was going.

''If you're sure love, see you soon?''

''You bet'' she replies, fighting back tears.

''You know I love you right?'' His voice is loving, safe, soothing and causes her to choke back a sob. She fails to pick up on the worry in his voice and he forgets to mention that he has just returned from Dev's.

''Ditto baby'' She whispers then hangs up the phone as tears finally fall down her face softly.

As soon as the call has ended Peter is pulling on his coat and ordering a taxi. He knew she had been drinking and was worried as to why she was trying to hide it so fiercely.

Carla is sat on the floor of her kitchen, legs crossed like a little girl, pills spread out neatly around her. She jumps when she hears a loud knock at her door, and fumbles around to pick up the pills, knowing it is now or never,

''Car, Car baby, let me in. It's okay, I know you're drinking, let me help you darling'' He pleads with her from the other side of the door.

''Fuck'' She mumbles under her breath. She swigs a sip of wine and steadies her self againt the counter, not even flinching when she knocks the bottle from the side and it smashes loudly at her feet. Now he fears the worst as he uses all his strength to break the door down, hearing his heart shatter at the sight in front of him.

''Carla!'' He shouts in fear. He knocks her hand and sends the dozens of pills flying across the floor. ''No! No!'' Carla screetches, knowing she cannot deal with the ache in her heart for another moment.''Now look what you've done! I need them! Peter I need them!"

''No you don't Car, you can't leave me'' he whispers in anguish.

Carla had worked herself up into a frenzy as she tries to pick up the pills that lay scattered across her kitchen floor.

''Carla..'' Peter wraps his arms around her waist as she throws her limbs around in an attack of anger. ''Let me go Peter! I want to die! I just want to die!'' Her words tear into his soul as he knows she truly does. Right then, in that moment, he just isn't enough to make her want to live another minute longer. And he knows if he were to walk away right now, he'd never see her again.

Her hands thud against him but he doesn't move. He lets her fight it out until she is too tired to carry on and collapses in a heap on the floor. He pulls her tightly in his arms, providing a sheild from her hellish world for a brief few hours. And she cries into his chest. He holds her all night, long after she had fallen asleep, exhausted. He doesn't close his eyes for more than a moment, he just feels her chest move agianst his, her breath against his skin, knowing for now, he has won the battle.

''Don't leave me Car'' He whispers into her soft, raven hair. Tears lingering on his cheeks ''Please don't ever leave me baby''

_A/N Please, please, please review. I have a couple of chapters of this planned if people are interested, if not I'll leave it as it is. :-)_


	2. Chapter 2

Peter still sat against the counter in Carla's kitchen, the same position he had been in for hours. Carla's lifeless body flopped against him, weightlessly. He hated the way she lay so rigid against him. Only days before she would have rested her head against his chest, wrapped her arms around his waist, her legs would be tangled in his, their bodies closer than he thought were physically possible. Now it was as though if he touched her she would break. Or simply disappear, a fragment of his imagination. He struggled to see her in such a state, it was like every moment he looked at her, he was watching another part of her float away.

The things he missed most were the sparkle in her eyes. Her dirty giggle that caused his insides to flip and flutter, and her sharp tongue, the way insults and sarcastic come-backs rolled out so effortlessly. Peter was pulled from his thoughts as he felt a clammy hand grab at his own, entwining their fingers as if comforting herself.

''Peter?"

"I'm here baby'' Carla allowed her body to relax for the first time in days, leaning in close and letting out a sigh of emotion, fear mixed with pain and self pity. She was sick and tired. Sick of being the victim and tired of not being able to do anything about it.

''You gave me quite a fright last night you know'' He rested his check against the top of her head, listening to the soft thud of her heart.

''Well you weren't supposed to come storming round here were ya'' She couldn't hide nor deny the bitterness in her voice. She didn't feel the same sense of relief she had the last time he had saved her.

''And what if I hadn't eh Car? Would I be coming here to find a body? Your cold, lifeless body dumped in a heap on the floor?"

Carla winced at the bluntness of his words, her hair falling forward and covering her face, her eyes hidden from Peter's gaze.

''You say it like I have a choice Peter''

''You're right Carla. You don't have a choice. Because there's no one in this world that could replace you, or even come close. So no, you don't have a choice. You're going nowhere'' Peter didn't give her time to answer as he moved away from underneath her to stand up. Carla immediately missed his touch, though she didn't say this allowed.

He took her hand and pulled her to the sink, running the cold tap and pulling her hand underneath it, removing the chipped glass fragments that had become engrained in Carla's hand during last night's chaos. She winced, and Peter rolled his eyes. Carla looked like a child that had just been told off, her face annoyed at treated with such a patronising tone.

Carla walked away from him once he had finished, leaving her kitchen and heading over to her bedroom, not uttering a word.

''Do you want me to come in with you?'' Peter asked, motioning towards her bedroom door.

''Do what you want Peter, I couldn't give a toss'' Her voice feigned annoyance, though he could see through her act in a heartbeat. When he looked into her eyes he could see into her soul.

Carla collapsed onto her bed, trying her hardest to escape her demons for a few moments. The emptiness of the room made her shudder, every corner seemed to hide something, every noise made her heartbeat ten times over. The words resounded in her head as she tossed and turned.

_ ''Not guilty'' _

_''You made me do it Carla''_

_''He said she liked it rough''_

_''You're a waste of skin'' _

_''If she lied about that what else could she lie about?"_

Carla twisted and turned in her bedsheets until she could take it no longer, she sat up, letting out a quiet but pained sob as her hands ran through her matted hair.

Peter's eyes adjusted to the light as he saw the hunched figure the door way, gaunt and almost half the person she used to be, Carla leant against the door frame, tears glistening in her vacant eyes.

''Peter?"

"Can you lay with me? Please?"

He scuttled into the bedroom without a word, following Carla as they lay down together, as far apart as the bed would allow them to. Peter didn't want to risk distressing her further by touching her so he lay still, allowing her to make any movements or form any contact she wished for.

A moment or two later, he heard the rustling of bed sheets as Carla shuffled close to him, tangling herself up against his body, they lay so close that Peter thought not even air could pass between them.

Minutes, or maybe hours later, Peter wasn't sure, Carla had succumbed to sleep, still wrapped in Peter's embrace, their chests rising and falling at an even rate, and like this they stayed, all through the night and most of the next day too.


	3. Chapter 3

It was late the next evening, Carla lays across her sofa, a blanket draped over her tiny body. Peter lay underneath her, her weightless body flopped against his. He watched her as she shifted slightly, a small moan leaving her lips. Peter could see she was restless, her body was rigid, as though she was frightened.

He found himself running his free hand through her raven hair, his fingers entwining with her soft locks. He knows he should have gone home by now, but even the thought of leaving her alone for more than a few minutes, makes him feel sick so with a quick text to his Dad, he's child free for another night.

Peter can't help but feel guilty for his son, especially knowing that Simon still hadn't taken to Carla, in fact he hated her. He was full of anger and contempt whenever they breathed the same air so if he knew he was with her, it wouldn't go down well.

His guilt doesn't last long however, as he looks down at the sleeping woman in his arms. He remembers the promises he made to her. He promised he wouldn't walk away when she needed him most, he promised he'd pick her up whenever she fell, he promised to love and care for her, he promised forever. And forever starts now.

Shuffling slightly, Peter moves so that Carla lies asleep on the sofa. She instantly huddles into a ball, sensing his absence and protecting herself. He climbs over the back of the sofa to avoid waking her and heads to the bathroom to run a bath.

He watches as the bubble bath swirls around the water and the smell of scented candles fills the air. Peter doesn't notice as Carla stands behind him, her white dressing gown wrapped around her, a faint ghost of a smile adorning her lips.

"What you doing baby?" She whispers as Peter turns around and stands up from the floor to move a stray piece of hair from Carla's face.

"Why do you always do that?" Carla quizzed, giving Peter a subtle smirk.

"Do what?"

"Move my hair from my face"

"I don't like it when it covers your eyes" He admitted "Because when I look in your eyes it's the only time I can see how you're feeling. You're so difficult to read Car" She shuffled almost awkwardly on her feet, feeling guilty for not opening up to him as much as usual, for shutting him out no matter how hard he tried to get inside. "But when I look in your eyes, it's like getting a sneak peak into your soul. And I get it" He's hand is caressing her cheek now, while the other is under her chin, pulling it up to face him "I get you" He says softly.

"Come on" he says after a few moments, "I've run you a bath"

Carla places a kiss to his lips as a thank you and begins to undress herself, taking off her dressing gown as Peter turns to leave the room, not wanting to rush or push her into anything.

"Peter?" She calls him back before he even leaves the room.

"Stay?" He nods instantly, before returning to her side and pulling at the vest top she is wearing, tugging it up over her head. Peter then brings his hands down to her trousers, removing them after a smile of confirmation from Carla tells him she is comfortable with his actions.

Carla stands still, watching Peter intently as he removes her underwear and places a gentle kiss to her neck. She steps into the bath, allowing the hot water to lap over her skin and feeling instantly relaxed as she lays back, completely submerged apart from her face. She stays like this for a while, listening to the sound of the water against her tired body. But as she sits up slightly, the ends of her hair still in the water, she feels Peter's hands tangle themselves in her hair, massaging her head tenderly as he rubs the sweet smelling shampoo into her hair. A smell he recognise's straight away, his Carla smell. A simple gesture that warms her heart right to the core.

"Lay back" Peter whispers, and Carla obeys, softening and relaxing into his touch as his hands smooth over her hair in the water, washing away the shampoo and, unbeknown to Peter, so much more. She allows her eyes to close for a brief moment as her lover continues to wash her hair.

Carla doesn't think anyone has ever washed her hair for her, or undressed her unless they wanted something in return. Sex being the main thing that springs to her mind. But with Peter, it hadn't been about getting her into bed, it had been such a loving gesture, done with so much compassion.

Carla is sure as she lays in the bathtub, Peter's hands still intertwined in her raven locks, that she can feel a little part of the old Carla return, a little more of her heart fix, and a little more of her love for Peter blossom.


	4. Chapter 4

Peter sat on the arm chair in Carla's front room, she lay curled into his side. Small enough to fit nestled in to him, but clinging to him intensely as though she were afraid he'd disappear. Her hair was still damp from her earlier bath and it stuck to the side of her face and left patches of wet on Peter's shirt.

He held her close to him, her hand lay across his chest and both his arms were wrapped tightly around her, providing the shield from the world she so badly needed. He could hear her gentle breathing, her chest rising and falling against his.

He knew as he sat there in that moment that there was no where else he'd rather be. No one else he'd rather be with. He loved her with such a fierceness that it ached to see her in so much pain. It hurt him to know the agony she was suffering through and he couldn't help her.

It wasn't only Frank that had had hurt her, he had seen in her eyes the pain they held long before that monster dug his claws into her. Paul, Liam, Tony, they'd all left their scars, scars that ran deep within Carla's very soul. He guessed that even before the Connor's arrived, she had had her fair share of heartache.

"Carla?" He felt her stir against him, brought back to reality from her haunted thoughts. Peter could hear her heart beat fasten and feel her hand grasp his shirt even tighter than before.

"What is it? Do you have to go home?" Her voice was high, frightened about being left alone to shrivel and break.

"No, no I'm not going home. I told you baby, I'm not leaving you" Carla let go of a breath she didn't even know she was holding, her rigid body softening back into Peter's embrace, moulding into his warm body.

"I just wanted to talk to you" She turned her head up so she could see his face, his deep brown eyes showing only love.

"What about?"

"You"

Carla sniggered slightly. To be honest, she wasn't used to people showing much of an interest in her life or feelings. Unless they wanted idle gossip to pass the time.

"Where should I start? Carla pulled herself up so she sat across Peter's lap, her legs draped over him and hung over the arm of the chair, her arm was now flung around his neck.

"Well.." Peter took a deep breath, knowing this question might push her further away than ever. "You could start by telling me who made you feel that the only way to survive was to hurt yourself?"

Carla felt tears stinging in her eyes almost instantly. There wasn't another soul in the world beside herself that knew the answers to that question. The reason behind the white scars that lingered across her skin.

Peter brought his hand up to cup her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the stray tears. "I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to make you cry" Carla shock her head softly "No one's ever asked me before. No one's ever paid that much attention to me. I was just a trophy wife, not worth anything to anyone"

Peter felt a pang of pain hit him as he heard her words, he knew she believed everything she was saying. She thought she was useless, worthless, pathetic, when to him she was the most perfect woman he'd even met.

He took hold of her left arm and rolled the sleeve arm as far as it would go, revealing the small white scars, barely noticeable unless you looked hard enough, cared enough to notice. He brought his lips down to her soft skin and kissed tenderly along everyone of her seven scars. Then he brought his lips up to met Carla's again, kissing her gently and then resting his forehead against hers.

"I noticed baby. I always notice"


	5. Chapter 5

It was the early hours of the morning, both Peter and Carla had only just drifted off to sleep. They hadn't moved from the armchair, both finding the closeness comforting. They'd moved and shifted around through the night as they talked. Or rather as Carla talked and Peter listened intensely. Not missing a beat of her words.

Eventually Carla fell asleep laying across his chest like a new born baby might. She sat on his lap, the whole of her upper body turned against his. her face nestled into his shoulder, hidden from sight. Peter's arms wrapped themselves around her tiny waist, his head rested gently against hers.

Peter was the first to wake, surprisingly comfortable after laying in an awkward position all night. He smiled slightly as Carla mumbled in her sleep and admired the way they fitted together like two pieces of a puzzle that moulded into one. He thought that summed them up well. Two strangers that had come together over a common ground, bound by addiction and love and yet as fragile as the puzzle pieces, easy to fit together but just as easy to break, easy to hurt. Weak and vulnerable, and yet determined.

The sun was starting to pour in through Carla's windows, curtains still open from yesterday and he knew that if he didn't move her now, she'd likely wake from what seemed to be the most peaceful sleep she'd had in a long time.

Ever so carefully he picked her up as he stood. Cradling her against him as she flopped into his arms, still asleep. He lay her down on her sofa, not wanting her to wake up in her room alone, before shutting the curtains and finding a blanket to place over her sleeping form.

He busied himself in the kitchen, fiddling around with Carla's coffee machine that he still had mastered. He hadn't meant to be so loud but it appeared his banging around had woken Carla from her sleep.

"Peter, is that you?" He could hear the tension in her voice, as though she were fighting a battle. Knowing that it probably was Peter but still terrified that it was Frank.

"Yeah baby, it's me" He carried in two steaming hot mugs of coffee and sat down next to Carla as she moved to make room.

Peter noted the way she didn't instantly greet him like she usually would, she hadn't leant against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Instead she had shuffled close to the arm of the chair, her eyes looking down as though she were embarrassed.

"I didn't think you'd still be here" Carla whispered, seeing Peter's confused look from the corner of her eye.

"Last night, I thought I'd have scared you away" Peter understood what she mean now. Last night she'd opened not only her heart but her soul to him. He knew almost everything there was to know about the woman in front of him. And he knew from her words last night that he was the only person alive that had heard those words. She was scared, petrified, that now he knew her most intimate secrets he'd run a mile.

"Look at me" When she didn't respond her moved his hand to under her chin and brought her face up to his level "Carla look at me"

When he was happy that he had Carla's attention, he smiled softly at her "Carla, there is nothing you could ever tell me that would make me love you any less than I do. Nothing. You're amazing Carla Connor, okay? Amazing" Carla's face softened as she relented at his words. "I'm sorry for doubting you" she let herself fall into Peter's arms as he stroked her raven locks, knowing it usually relaxed her.

A while later Peter stood in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for them both whilst Carla got dressed in her bedroom. He had insisted she ate something, knowing she hadn't eaten properly in days.

Carla came out of her bedroom, noting how Peter looked so right in her home, like he belonged there. "You look gorgeous love" Peter smiled as he placed a tender kiss to her lips and pulled out a seat at her table, motioning for her to sit. Carla wore leggings and her trademark black boots with leopard print top that left her arms on show.

After breakfast was over, Carla grabbed her leather jacket as they headed for the door. She couldn't deny the nerves that fluttered around her tummy. "You sure you want to do this?" Peter asked as he came to stand behind her, his hand placed on the small of her back. "If I want to be with you then I need to make an effort with Si, he's part of you in't he. Package deal"

"Buy one Barlow, get one free" Peter winked as he placed his hand in Carla's and they made their way to Ken and Deirdre's. The close they got, the more nervous Carla become. She held onto Peter's hand with both of hers, standing slightly behind him as he knocked on the door.

Peter placed a kiss to Carla's temple as they waited for the door to answer, he could see the fear in her eyes. Most people wouldn't give either of them the time of day since Frank's trial had revealed their affair and no matter how much she denied it, he knew it killed her inside every time someone threw her another snide comment.

"You've got a nerve ain't ya?" They were faced with a peeved looking Leanne, anger evident on her face.

"If you don't mind Leanne, we've come to pick up my son"

"You didn't have to bring her did you?"

Peter pushed past Leanne, still firmly holding Carla's hand as they made their way into the living room.

"Dad!" Simon ran at Peter. happy to see his dad after a few days of staying with his Grandparents. "All right Si, have you been good for ya old dad?"

"He's been fine. As fine as a kid can be when his dad's abandoned him for a home-wrecking slapper!"

Carla stayed silent throughout the whole time, trying to act invisible, as though she wasn't there.

"Look Leanne, I'm sorry I hurt you all right. I am. But I love Carla. I love her. And you throwing ya petty insults around won't change that"

"Come on Si, let's go son"

"Does _she_ have to come?" Simon retorted, quickly remembering how this stranger had been the reason his mum had left. "Yes Simon, Carla is coming. And she's going to be around for a long time so you've got to get used to it"

The three of them headed onto the street as Carla breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be out of such a hostile atmosphere.

Peter whispered into Carla's ear and she smiled and nodded at his suggestion, still holding her hand as they made their way over to Peter's flat. "Hey Si, how'd you fancy a little holiday?"


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N Firstly a huge thank you for all your lovely reviews, I love reading them and they make me smile! Secondly, I'm off on holiday tomorrow and I'm not sure I'll have access to a computer so if I don't this is the last you'll see of me for a week. And lastly, I apologise in advance for this chapter, it is rubbish! But I didn't want to not update before I go!_  
><em>Much love<em>

Carla sat in the garden of the cottage, a blanket pulled up around her, her knees tucked under her chin. The drive to Cornwall had been long and she'd fallen asleep many times as Peter drove the three of them away from Weatherfield. But she felt more awake as she heard the sounds of the crashing waves somewhere nearby.

She had been outside for a while now, leaving Peter to calm Simon down after another heated argument. She felt guilty, like an intruder. She didn't belong here with these people, not really. She should be at home, in her flat, drinking herself into an oblivion. Or maybe she didn't belong at all, she couldn't be sure any more. It was like all her thoughts fluttered around above her, just beyond her reach and nothing made sense.

Peter sat on the side of the bed, his son laying curled up next to him, both with puffy cheeks and eyes still filled to the brim with tears not yet fallen. He felt like he had failed everyone, the two most important people in his life were falling apart by his feet and he was too damned weak to save either of them.

He couldn't stop his mind wondering to thoughts of his lover as he cradled his devastated son and the guilt riddled him. Guilt for tearing apart his son's life and guilt for not regretting it. Truth was he couldn't have stayed with Leanne, no matter how strong his love for Simon was because he couldn't bare to spend time with someone that wasn't Carla, to love and be affectionate towards another person when he knew his heart belonged to another.

"Dad?" Simon whispered, barely audible. "I didn't mean what I said earlier"

"I know son, I know" His hand moved to stroke the young boy's hair, something he usually did to sooth him when he was poorly.

Simon stifled a yawn, exhausted from shouting and tired of arguing, he accepted a kiss from his Dad as he stood up to leave. He reached the door, his hand on the handle, but turned around at the sound of a small muffled voice. "Tell Carla I said I'm sorry" It was baby steps, it was probably smaller than baby steps, but it was a start.

With a brief smile, Peter left his now sleeping son and retreated to the garden. Carla briefly turned her head as she heard the large doors open but neither of them spoke, instead Peter sat down beside her, the concrete of the patio providing little comfort for either of them.

Eventually Carla rested her head against Peter's shoulder and he immediately placed his arm around her, pulling her closer and breathing in her familiar scent. Still neither of them spoke, both looking up towards the sky, admiring the stars and wondering what the future held.

"Peter, can I ask you something?" Carla was the first to break the silence, but not allowing herself to look at him, forcing herself to focus on the dark swirls in the sky, concentrating on the shades and colour contrasts. "Ask away love" Came his reply, bracing himself for what he guessed would be a deep conversation.

"Do you wish this had never happened?" He turned his head straight away to look at her, not wanting to understand why she still questioned his love for her but at the same time accepting her insecurities partly due to his many rejections.

His answer wasn't immediate, instead he looked up towards the sky once again, staring intently at the star that seemed to shine the brightest, wondering how to string a simple set of words into a sentence in order to convince her of his sincerity.

"Three days ago I held you in my arms after you almost took an overdose. Three months before that I held you in my arms when you really did. Twice I almost lost you Carla. The first time I didn't even have the right to call you mine." Carla listened closely as he spoke, taking in his words as he gave her answers but not really the answers she had asked for.

"If I wasn't with you now then I'd be wishing I was Car. Maybe I'd be laying asleep in my bed, next to Leanne" He felt her shudder involuntarily against him at the thought of him not being hers " Maybe I'd be sitting on the sofa, smoking, replacing one addiction with another. One that wasn't strong enough to fill the void. But whatever I might have been doing, it wouldn't be where I wanted to be. I'd be lonely as hell"

"At least Simon would be happy" Carla almost whispered, the guilt for the young boy eating her alive from the inside out. "I made you love me Peter. If that's what this even is. Maybe Leanne was right. One day you're gonna wake up and realise what a mess your life is, and that's worse than a hangover Peter. Because there's no going back to Leanne in six months time, this is it from here on in. And I did this. Me"

He shook his head the entire time she spoke, not allowing himself to even listen. "I'm not giving up on you Carla and things are gonna change, everything is gonna change but I know, I know that I'm always gonna feel the same. All the best relationships have to go against the odds to get there baby"

Peter felt her body soften against his as again they fell into a comfortable silence and he thought that maybe his words had gotten through to her. It was like knocking down a wall, each time he told her he loved her leaving another dent, slowly breaking though the tough restraints she had built around her tenderly fragile heart.

"You're a soft git Peter Barlow" Carla whispered, closing her eyes and leaning close to him, silently relishing in his love, feeling secure in his embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Give it chance, I'll make it up to you. And give it a chance, I'll prove this world all wrong"_

The sun had already settled in the early morning sky. Shades of pink and purple, reds and maroons danced across the sky as a new day announced it's arrival. The cottage was far away from roads, tucked away down a pathway near to a sandy, secluded beach and allowed the occupants to enjoy the peace that a holiday should bring.

Carla and Peter still slept, Carla lay across him, her body almost slumped entirely onto his chest, their legs tangled and Peter's arms gripped around her slender waist. Even in a gentle slumber they clung to each other, tenderly but still with great need. As though their subconscious minds knew how fragile their relationship was and nudged them along, guiding them into the embrace of the other. Both equally as frightened of loosing what they had tried so hard to resist.

Peter stirred when he heard a quiet voice talking from the end of his bed. As he shifted to look at Simon, Carla awoke, feeling the loss of contact even as she slept.

"Dad, look. I made breakfast" Peter noted how reserved Simon seemed, as though trying to apologise for their previous arguments and make amends. It didn't take him long to realise that the tray only had one plate, which was obviously not for Carla.

"Son-"

"It's okay Dad, I made Carla some too"

Simon handed his Dad the tray with toast and jam and a mug of hot coffee and then reached down to retrieve another, which he handed to Carla. She accepted with a grateful, heartfelt smile. Simon shuffled out of the bedroom, embarrassed at his own actions and yet glad to have made his dad smile again. He couldn't ignore the sense of guilt that bubbled in his stomach when he thought of Leanne, Carla wasn't so bad but he wished things were how they used to be.

"If I'm not mistaken Mr Barlow, that was progress"

"I think you may be right" Peter smiled over at Carla, a sudden sense of hope for what might be around the corner. They ate the rest of their food in silence, both lost in thoughts, or maybe dreams.

Pulling on the most casual outfit she had packed, Carla headed downstairs, hoping she may be able to make some plans with Simon whilst Peter was in the shower.

"That was a really great breakfast Si. Thanks"

"It was just toast" Simon mumbled, not wanting to start in a conversation with Carla unless absolutely vital.

"What do you fancy doing today eh? We could go to the beach?"

"I don't like the beach"

"Hows about the park?"

"Boring"

Carla sighed, calming herself down with a few deep breaths. She had hoped this morning had been the start of a mutual friendship between the pair but this seemed more unlikely with every moment that passed.

"Eh how about the theme park? We drove past one yesterday?"

"Dad doesn't like rides, he says they make him sick"

"Do you like the rides?" Carla asked, surprised at how long she had managed to keep a conversation going, although it had admittedly been mostly one sided. Simon shrugged in response, not wanting to let Carla see his enthusiasm. "Cause yer know I could always come on with ya. See, I'm not a wimp like ya Dad" Again he didn't answer, but turned to face Carla, showing a small glimpse of interest.

"You wouldn't even have to talk to me. Ya can pretend you don't even know me if ye like. I won't tell anyone if you don't?"

Simon thought about if for a moment, he hadn't expected Carla to be so giving, Leanne had always made her seem, well scary. He looked up finally and caught Carla's eyes.

"Deal"

_A/N Sorry this is much shorter than I intended but I wasn't sure if this was really working. Anyway, please if you have a minute, leave a review. It means a lot! And thanks to everyone that has. Anna._


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